Brain Droppings

Brain Droppings❮KINDLE❯ ➚ Brain Droppings ❦ Author George Carlin – With nearly 20 albums two Grammys two Cable ACE awards and HBO specials sunder his belt than anyone else George Carlin is popular than ever Now for the first time Carlin has produced a book of origina With nearly albums two Grammys two Cable ACE awards and HBO specials sunder his belt than anyone else George Carlin is popular than ever Now for the first time Carlin has produced a book of original humor pieces Brain Droppings Filled with thoughts musings uestions lists beliefs curiousities monologues assertions assumptions and other verbal ordeals Brain Droppings is infectiously funny Also included are two timeless bonus items from the past A Place for Your Stuff and Baseball Football Readers will get an inside look into Carlin's mind and they won't be disappointed by what they find I buy stamps by mail It works OK until I run out of stamps What year did Jesus Christ think it was A tree first you chop it down then you chop it up Have you ever noticed the lawyer is always smiling than the client I put a dollar in one of those change machines Nothing changed If you ever have chicken at lunch and chicken at dinner do you ever wonder if the two chickens knew each other.

George Denis Patrick Carlin was a Grammy winning American stand up comedian actor author and philosopherCarlin was especially noted for his political and black humor and his observations on language psychology and religion along with many taboo subjects Carlin and his Seven Dirty Words comedy routine were central to the US Supreme Court case FCC v Pacifica Foundation in which.

Brain Droppings PDF ✓ Paperback
  • Paperback
  • 272 pages
  • Brain Droppings
  • George Carlin
  • English
  • 20 May 2016
  • 9780786891122

10 thoughts on “Brain Droppings

  1. Mousetrap says:

    I was in my high school English class when our instructor wanted us to choose a book to read and afterwards write the author with uestions that came up during the reading I chose Brain Droppings as I enjoyed George Carlin's stand up routine and had seen him live before The book was hilarious as expectedAfter reading I wrote Mr Carlin a series of uestions as instructed I did not hear back from him during the school year which was fine according to our teacher and soon summer began It was a random day in July that same year when I opened my mailbox and I had a large envelope from George Carlin Productions Inside I found a picture of George that was autographed as such Too many uestions George CarlinI cannot think of a fitting response

  2. Mina Soare says:

    My motto? Fk hope PS In case you're wondering I'm a joyful individual I'm a personal optimist but a skeptic about all elseCarlin efficiently kicks away all the crutches we use to justify the stupid things we live with

  3. dara says:

    A PLACE FOR YOUR STUFFHi How are ya? You got your stuff with you? I'll bet you do Guys have stuff in their pockets; women have stuff in their purses Of course some women have pockets and some guys have purses That's okay There's all different ways of carryin' your stuffThen there's all the stuff you have in your car You got stuff in the trunk Lotta different stuff spare tire jack tools old blanket extra pair of sneakers Just in case you wind up barefoot on the highway some nightAnd you've got other stuff in your car In the glove box Stuff you might need in a hurry flashlight map sunglasses automatic weapon You know Just in case you wind up barefoot on the highway some nightSo stuff is important You gotta take care of your stuff You gotta have a place for your stuff Everybody's gotta have a place for their stuff That's what life is all about tryin' to find a place for your stuff That's all your house is a place to keep your stuff If you didn't have so much stuff you wouldn't need a house You could just walk around all the timeA house is just a pile of stuff with a cover on it You can see that when you're taking off in an airplane You look down and see all the little piles of stuff Everybody's got his own little pile of stuff And they lock it up That's right when you leave your house you gotta lock it up Wouldn't want somebody to come by and take some of your stuff 'Cause they always take the good stuff They don't bother with that crap you're saving Ain't nobody interested in your fourth grade arithmetic papers National Geographics commemorative plates your prize collection of Navajo underwear; they're not interested They just want the good stuff; the shiny stuff; the electronic stuffSo when you get right down to it your house is nothing than a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get stuff 'Cause that's what this country is all about Tryin' to get stuff Stuff you don't want stuff you don't need stuff that's poorly made stuff that's overpriced Even stuff you can't afford Gotta keep on gettin' stuff Otherwise someone else might wind up with stuff Can't let that happen Gotta have the most stuffSo you keep gettin' and stuff and puttin' it in different places In the closets in the attic in the basement in the garage And there might even be some stuff you left at your parents' house baseball cards comic books photographs souvenirs Actually your parents threw that stuff out long agoSo now you got a houseful of stuff And even though you might like your house you gotta move Gotta get a bigger house Why? Too much stuff Or maybe put some of your stuff in storage Storage Imagine that There's a whole industry based on keepin' an eye on other people's stuffOr maybe you could sell some of your stuff Have a yard sale have a garage sale Some people drive around all weekend just lookin' for garage sales They don't have enough of their own stuff they wanna buy other people's stuffOr you could take your stuff to the swap meet the flea market the rummage sale or the auction There's a lotta ways to get rid of stuff You can even give your stuff away The Salvation Army and Goodwill will actually come to your house and pick up your stuff and give it to people who don't have much stuff It's part of what economists call the Redistribution of StuffOk enough about your stuff Let's talk about other people's stuff Have you ever noticed when you visit someone else's house you never uite feel at home? You know why? No room for your stuff Somebody else's stuff is all over the place And what crummy stuff it is 'God Where did they get this stuff?'And you know how sometimes when you're visiting someone you unexpectedly have to stay overnight? It gets real late and you decide to stay over? So they put you in a bedroom they don't use too often because Grandma died in it eleven years ago And they haven't moved any of her stuff? Not even the vaporizer?Or whatever room they put you in there's usually a dresser or a nightstand and there's never any room on it for your stuff Someone else's shit is on the dresser Have you noticed that their stuff is shit and your shit is stuff? 'Get this shit off of here so I can put my stuff down' Crap is also a form of stuff Crap is the stuff that belongs to the person you just broke up with 'When are you comin' over here to pick up the rest of your crap?'Now let's talk about traveling Sometimes you go on vacation and you gotta take some of your stuff Mostly stuff to wear But which stuff should you take? Can't take all your stuff Just the stuff you really like; the stuff that fits you well that month In effect on vacation you take a smaller 'second version' of your stuffLet's say you go to Honolulu for two weeks You gotta take two big suitcases of stuff Two weeks two big suitcases That's the stuff you check onto the plane But you also got your carry on stuff plus the stuff you bought in the airport So now you're all set to go You got stuff in the overhead rack stuff under the seat stuff in the seat pocket and stuff in your lap And let's not forget the stuff you're gonna steal from the airline silverware soap blanket toilet paper salt and pepper shakers Too bad those headseats won't work at homeAnd so you fly to Honolulu and you claim your stuff if the airline didn't drop it in the ocean and you go to the hotel and the first thing you do is put away your stuff There's lots of places in a hotel to put your stuff'I'll put some stuff in here you put some stuff in there Hey don't put your stuff in there That's my stuff Here's another place Put some stuff in here And there's another place Hey you know what? We've got places than we've got stuff We're gonna hafta go out and buy stuff'Finally you put away all your stuff but you don't uite feel at ease because you're a long way from home Still you sense that you must be OK because you do have some of your stuff with you And so you relax in Honolulu on that basis That's when your friend from Maui calls and says 'Hey why don't you come over to Maui for the weekend and spend a couple of nights over here?'Oh no Now whaddya bring? Can't bring all this stuff You gotta bring an even smaller version of your stuff Just enough stuff for a weekend on Maui The 'third version' of your stuffAnd as you're flyin' over to Maui you realize that you're really spread out now You've got stuff all over the world Stuff at home stuff in the garage stuff at your parents' house maybe stuff in storage stuff in Honolulu and stuff on the plane Supply lines are getting longer and harder to maintain Finally you get to your friends' place on Maui and they give you a little room to sleep in and there's a nightstand Not much room on it for your stuff but it's OK because you don't have much stuff now You got your 8 x 10 autographed picture of Drew Carey a large can of gorgonzola flavored Cheez Whiz a small unopened packet of brown confetti a relief map of Corsica and a family size jar of peppermint flavored petrified egg whites And you know that even though you're a long way from home you must be OK because you do have a good supply of peppermint flavored petrified egg whites And so you begin to relax in Maui on that basis That's when your friend says 'Hey I think tonight we'll go over to the other side of the island and visit my sister Maybe spend the night over there'Oh no Now whaddya bring? Right You gotta bring an even smaller version The 'fourth version' of your stuff Just the stuff you know you're gonna need Money keys comb wallet lighter hankie pen cigarettes contraceptives Vaseline whips chains whistles dildos and a book Just the stuff you hope you're gonna need Actually your friend's sister probably has her own dildosBy the way if you go to the beach while you're visiting the sister you're gonna have to bring that's right an even smaller version of your stuff the 'fifth version' Cigarettes and wallet That's it You can always borrow someone's suntan lotion And then suppose while you're there on the beach you decide to walk over to the refreshment stand to get a hot dog? That's right my friend Number six The most important version of your stuff your wallet Your wallet contains the only stuff you really can't do withoutWell by the time you get home you're pretty fed up with your stuff and all the problems it creates And so about a week later you clean out the closet the attic the basement the garage the storage locker and all the other places you keep your stuff and you get things down to manageable proportions Just the right amount of stuff to lead a simple and uncomplicated life And that's when the phone rings It's your lawyer It seems your aunt has died and left you all her stuff Oh no Now whaddya do? Right You do the only thing you can do The honorable thing You tell your lawyer to stuff it

  4. Debbie Zapata says:

    I liked this book much better than Napalm Silly Putty George was not nearly so irritated and crass here Of course irritated crassness is part of George's personality but this book did not make me as uncomfortable as the other one didThere were a few poetic gems hidden in these pages such as this Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the musicAnd some giggle inducers such as this You can lead a gift horse to water in the middle of the stream but you can't look him in the mouth and make him drinkOf course George being George there is a lot of cursing here and very little political correctness If you can't handle that Carlin is not a good choice for you

  5. Jim says:

    I'm listened to the audio book edition read by Carlin himself Since so much of his humor relies on the delivery I think this was the best way to appreciate it I am going to try to read his book When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? I'll see how that goesThe book is really just a bunch of his regular comedic material His lists of things that piss him off him tearing apart various sayings or making fun of people It was good to listen to at the end of a frustrating day He had me laughing out loud as I flew down the highway toward home Not sure what the other drivers thought about that Probably thought I was crazy maybe that's why the drive seemed to fly by Well if they can't take a joke

  6. britt_brooke says:

    “No matter how you care to define it I do not identify with the local group Planet species race nation state religion party union club association neighborhood improvement committee; I have no interest in any of it I love and treasure individuals as I meet them I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to”Reread this via audio while doing mountains of laundry earlier I read it in print a few years ago but UNsurprisingly the audio is better I miss George Carlin

  7. John Hatley says:

    Ever since I first “discovered” him I’ve been a big fan of George Carlin I uite simply appreciate and thoroughly enjoy his brand of humour This book first published 23 years ago has as much relevance today as it did then And it is brilliant comedy

  8. Kelly says:

    This is fun to dip in and out of but I just feel like George Carlin is funnier when you actually listen to himwatch him This doesn't capture his wit very well

  9. Girish says:

    George Carlin is one of my favorite comedians who made grumpy cynical 60 year olds cool So when i took this book i was looking forward to a lot of laughs that makes me think I had uite not taken into account how much his delivery played a role So the book in effect looked like George Carlin's twitter account with brainy one liners that were a 'yeah funny' than laugh out loudThe book has 3 types of themes one based on language and word play which is joke book material The other is a rant on state of affairshuman ineptitude which without modulation sounds like a rantThe third is scenario based imagination which draws the laughs There is one chapter on how early men started a ritual of human sacrifice which was ingenious The book might have worked ages ago in the non internet era Maybe we have become immune to wit and demand Maybe there doesnt exist a humour book within a standup comedian But this book was just okSample It turned out I was pretty good in science But again because of the small budget in science class we couldn't afford to do experiments in order to prove theories We just believed everything Actually I think that class was called Religion Religion class was always an easy class All you had to do was suspend the logic and reasoning you were being taught in all the other classes” Regarding the fitness craze America has lost its soul; now it's trying to save its body” “Do you know why hurricanes have names instead of numbers? To keep the killing personal No one cares about a bunch of people killed by a number '200 Dead as Number Three Slams Ashore' is not nearly as interesting a headline as 'Charlie kills 200' Death is much satisfying and entertaining if you personalize itSee what i mean?

  10. thewestchestarian says:

    Recycled gold In 2008 George Carlin faced something he rarely faced in his stand up comedy career – dying Put simply Carlin was to borrow Muhammad Ali’s phrase the greatest of all time No other stand up comic was able to elicit laughs from audience across six decades or was as much a master of the full range of stand up comedy types Carlin did observational humor better than Seinfeld shock humor better than the eually deceased Sam Kinison ranting topical humor better than the now Republican Dennis Miller deep philosophical humor better than the now creepy Woody Allen and outrage humor better than the also dead Bill Hicks ”Brain Droppings” is little than a random collection of bits largely taken from Carlin’s most popular comedy album ”A Place for My Stuff” without narrative arc segue ways or even a framework on which to hang them As with all Carlin’s material some of it is genius particularly when he focuses on the absurdities of the English language and some of it stupid both intentionally and unintentionally Much of Carlin’s stuff is timeless because he mixes in liberal doses of philosophical musings with the trivia of day to day life The book is an excellent primer but you would be better and very well served to listen to the direct source material – his 20 or so albums listen to the 70s stuff as well it is just as funny now

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